When A Loved One Dies: How to Support Your Child with Grief

Experiencing the death of a loved one is one of the most challenging and emotionally taxing experiences for anyone, including children. As parents, supporting our children through the loss of a family member is not only essential but also an opportunity to teach them about grief, empathy, and resilience.

Here are some key ways parents can support their child when someone in the family dies:

1. Create a Safe Space for Expression: Encourage your child to express their feelings openly and without judgment. Let them know that it's okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or even relieved, and reassure them that their emotions are valid.

2. Be Honest and Age-Appropriate: When explaining death to your child, be honest and use age-appropriate language. Avoid using euphemisms like "passed away" or "gone to sleep," as they can be confusing for young children. Provide simple, factual explanations about what death means.

3. Listen Actively: Be present and attentive when your child wants to talk about their feelings or memories of the deceased family member. Listen actively and offer comfort without trying to "fix" their emotions. Sometimes, just having a supportive listener can make a significant difference.

4. Maintain Routines: While it's essential to allow space for grieving, maintaining regular routines can provide stability and comfort to your child during a time of upheaval. Stick to familiar schedules for meals, bedtime, and activities to help them feel grounded.

5. Encourage Expression Through Art and Play: Children often express their emotions through creative outlets such as drawing, painting, or playing. Encourage your child to express their feelings through art and play, as it can be therapeutic and cathartic.

6. Answer Questions Honestly: Children may have many questions about death, including what happens after someone dies and why it happened. Answer their questions honestly and simply, using language they can understand. Reassure them that death is a natural part of life and that it's okay to have questions.

7. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to seek support from family members, friends, or professionals if you're struggling to support your child through the grieving process. Grief counseling or therapy can provide valuable tools and strategies for both you and your child.

8. Remember to Take Care of Yourself: Supporting your child through grief can be emotionally draining. Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support for yourself when needed. Taking care of your own emotional well-being allows you to be a more effective source of support for your child.

In conclusion, supporting a child through the loss of a family member is a delicate and challenging process. By creating a safe and supportive environment, being honest and open, and encouraging healthy expressions of grief, parents can help their children navigate this difficult time with understanding and resilience.

Author

Dr. Muhammad Zeshan My name is Muhammad Zeshan, MD, and I am a Harvard trained infant, child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist at Inside Out, a private practice based in Princeton, New Jersey. I am currently working as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School-Newark, New Jersey. Through Inside Out CURE, my focus is to help individuals become more Compassionate, Understanding, and aware of their inner strength and vulnerabilities, while developing Resilience and Empathy. I offer a variety of mental health care services to all age groups (infancy through adulthood) by applying principals of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, positive psychology, family therapy, parent-child intervention therapy, pharmacology, and neuroscience.